I FOUND MY FOOT :) BY BLY WALLENTINE

There is the urban legend that if you play Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz, there is uncanny synchronicity. Stoners for ages have been claiming that it lines up perfectly. Seeing as I am not a high schooler with crappy weed in the '70s, '80s, or '90s, I do not have time for that. Even as my days have opened up considerably given my employment status, I will not be partaking in this ridiculous activity.

Instead, I would like to suggest a similar, but much more fun use of your time. It is my belief that if you play any given song from Bly Wallentine’s I Found My Foot :) (don't forget the “:)”), it perfectly syncs up while you play Rainbow Road on Mario Kart. I swear on the life of my first unborn child that this is true. Any song from the album with any Rainbow Road from Super Nintendo to Switch, and you’ll find yourself completely immersed in the fantastical worlds of both Mario (the non-Chris-Pratt version) and Bly, as they blend into one of the most vibrant multimedia experiences since that moving Van Gogh Exhibition (Bly’s album is much more fun though).

Not only is I Found My Foot :) the perfect soundtrack to play Rainbow Road as it eerily syncs up, I am going to take it one step further and say that Rainbow Road is the perfect physical representation of the album.

It’s bright. It’s colorful. It’s full of danger. It takes place in what is assumably space. And at times you can lose all sense of time and space due to the length of the tracks/laps.

The only difference I can find is that I Found My Foot :) can—and will—be enjoyed by anyone and everyone. The album treats all persons equally without regard to their race, nationality, creed, religion, ethnicity, sex, gender, and sexual orientation. I cannot say the same of Rainbow Road and its hostile, unforgiving environment.

If you haven’t ever played Mario Kart, or if it’s been more than five years since you played, you now have the perfect excuse to drop $360 on a Nintendo Switch and Mario Kart 8 to see what I mean.

​If you have made it this far and will allow me to move away from my bullshit for just a second, this album is a revelation. Bly sings on one song, “Comedy of Errors/Tragedy of Eros,” that they have been possessed by an alien, which I will only believe if that alien happens to be David Bowie reincarnated.

I have made this comparison before and realize how much weight it holds, but I do not make it flippantly. I do so with much reverence. Bly has managed to combine the sounds of Bowie with modern indie acts like Rainbow Kitten Surprise and Mt. Joy to create one of the most vibrant albums that I have heard in my lifetime.

If you deprive yourself from listening to this album, you are missing out on a lot of potential happiness because I Found My Foot :) is infused with the joy that Bly must’ve had while making it.