Imagine if Pearl Jam never played with distortion. Imagine that they only played with airy reverb and set their phasers to stun.

​Got it? Good.

A letter to the editor, but it’s really just a letter to the artist expressing a couple grievances:

Occasionally, I come across a band that is so good that I must use a more serious tone. They impress me so much, that not even I can can find the words to make a joke. Seaslak is one of those bands.

Occasionally, you come across a song where the melody immediately catches your attention, and as you listen to it again and again, you think to yourself, Hey maybe I should listen to the lyrics, see what this song’s actually about. As you embark on this journey to listen to the lyrics, you realize something: you have no fucking clue what this song is even about. You could take an entire college course on "My Unkempt Billies" by Bly Wallentine, and you still might not know.* But that’s okay because you don’t even care what it’s about. You shrug it off because it’s a certified banger.