If there is one word to describe this album, it’s "feelings." I don’t want to associate that word with the negative connotation our upside-down society can sometimes assign it, especially with the “fuck your feeling” crew, whose feelings seem to almost inevitably get hurt.
Nevertheless, there are a lot of feelings on this album. I think that’s why millennials are relating to it so much. It has the same range of feelings as Taylor Swift, Paramore, Avril Lavigne, and Hillary Duff combined into one single Ariana-Grande-sized human. I just threw Hillary Duff in there at the end for the hell of it. It seemed right at the time. The Disney connection, I guess? Feel free to tell me how off-base I am. I won’t take offense.
Back to the topic at hand. How Olivia does not burst from not constantly expressing one or all of these emotions at any given time is one of the modern wonders of this world.
All of that being said, I enjoyed this album for the same exact reasons i just mentioned. At 17/18 she is better at expressing emotions that I probably ever will be. My brain-to-mouth coordination is at the level of responding “you too” when the host/hostess says “welcome to IHOP.” So kudos to you, Olivia, for figuring all that out, albeit your emotions are par for the course for your age (as an aside, I miss Kudos by the way. Such an incredible snack. A Chewy bar, Rice Krispies hybrid. *Chefs kiss*). But the figuring out how to express them is thing thing I’m trying to praise here. That’s the important thing. Again, I’ve said it before, but it will never get old to me how she sings these songs with the emotional heaviness of Adele with lyrics that talk about things of seventeen-year-old importance
And now, my ranking starting with the worst and ending with the best:
favorite crime. A 17-year-old girl telling someone, “I hope I was your favorite crime,” just doesn’t sit right with me. I was going to make some kind of Matt Gaetz joke here, but I won't. Me telling you I was going to make the joke was the compromise I came to with myself. NEXT SONG!
enough for you (?). I spent the most time trying to decide what deserved this spot. There isn’t really a bad song on the album. But I finally decided this was my least favorite of the bunch. The runt of the litter. Who knows though maybe it’ll go on to grow up and prove me wrong
hope ur ok. Damn this is a heavy song. Also we live in the age of social media and you’re über famous. If this is based on real people, reach out to these people. Please.
jealousy, jealousy. What’s more relatable than “I’m so sick of myself?” However relatable this might be, this song just doesn’t stick with you like the others.
happier. Honesty in song form. We all think it, even in an amicable breakup. The hook of this song gets it up in the middle of the pack.
brutal. This is such a weird start to this album but also very fitting. Though maybe not the most fitting song to bring this up on, but I appreciate all the cussing on this album. Very representative of how teenagers actually talk, and let’s be honest anyone who is still trying to say that she needs to be a role model for their little girls needs to just lay it to rest. She is being a great role model because she’s being real.
“Who am I if not exploited” catapults this song to the top half. That line doesn’t get enough attention compared to the line that comes directly after it which is “I’m so sick of seventeen. Where’s my fucking teenage dream?”
traitor. I joked with my buddy Shawn that this song is written from the point of view of all of our buddy’s exes. This isn’t a hot take. It pretty much describes any 16 year old horny little bastard. As soon as another maybe hotter or at the very least just different girl pays attention to us then we’re on to the next. the only difference is that it took him a lot longer to grow out of. Some guys never do grow out of this. When I was 16 I was accused of this and though I don’t remember it that way I’m sure she was right. Even though I specifically remember waiting at least a month so as to not be accused of this. If somehow my high school girlfriend, Olivia Rodriguez (I shit you not, this is her name), I know I have said it before, but I will say it again: I’m sorry.
1 step forward 3 steps back. Taylor Swift. That’s it. That’s the only comment I have about this song is her use of Taylor Swift’s piano melody from “New Years Day.” It’s cool. Next!
deja vu. What Can I say about this song that I haven’t already? The lyrics crack me up, but it’s a certified bop. I will fight you on this (see below).
drivers license. Even though I don’t think this is my second favorite song on the album, it has to be here because this is the song that started it all. The album does not have the success it’s had thus far without the cultural tidal wave this song started. It was featured on SNL in one of the funniest sketch in the last few years. It made her an icon (the song, not the sketch).
good 4 u. I know that millennials have ruined this song by bringing up Paramore so much, but I have a soft spot in my heart for them as a pop-punk-obsessed teen. So when I hear this, I think of Patrick sharing Riot! with me, and talking about how he was so happy there was ginger representation in the genre that we were in love with the most at the time.
Well, there you go. All songs ranked and commentated. Thoughts? Please leave all questions comments complaints and challenges to an 18th century style duel below in the comments.
Olivia Rodriguez from high school
6/1/2021 06:48:04 pm
I’m surprised you even remembered my name, you never cared about me
11/23/2021 08:43:59 pm
This is gold.
6/1/2021 07:01:20 pm
It’s like Descartes says, “In order to determine whether we can know anything with certainty, we first have to doubt everything we know”, and I know that I love you Karen....
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