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ALL ROM-COMS RANKED

3/1/2022

1 Comment

 
If you know me, you know that I watch a lot of movies. If you really know me, you will know that I fucking love rom-coms. I have watched so many. I don't know why exactly. A part of it is because I am a hopeless romantic, and another part of it is that I am simply fascinated by them. Why do some of them work well and others don't? Who is going to be the next guy to exclusively do rom-coms? In the 90s, it was Hugh Grant. In the 00s, it was Matthew McConaughey. Who's next? For a while, it seemed like it was going to be Noah Centineo.

Regardless, I started to have a Pokémon, "gotta catch 'em all" kind of approach to rom-coms. It is my goal to watch as many as I can and to be a walking rom-com encyclopedia (sure, it's a weird goal, but I don't care).
I also don't have any parameters on what I will or won't watch. One night, I was watching a really bad one. Like really, really bad. And I started thinking, is this the worst rom-com I have ever seen? So, I started listing the ones I had seen and putting them into tiers. The more I wrote down, I realized a couple things: 1) I have watched a lot of rom-coms, and 2) there are a lot of different tiers to put them in. So here are the tiers:
  • God Tier. There's only one. See below.
  • Great. You can never go wrong with these. They're just good movies. There is one exception to this section for me and that's Four Weddings and a Funeral. I don't know why I love this movie as much as I do, but I just do. 
  • Solid. They're not as good as the great movies, but they're definitely better than the good ones. I know this is a weird way to describe a tier, but it's just the truth.
  • Good. Just a good rom-com. Great date movies. A lot of these are the typical romance movies (fka "chick flicks") that are more rom than com, but I felt the need to include them. 
  • Fun. They're not good, but they're just fun. A lot of Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler movies. A lot of these are more com than rom. 
  • Okay. They're just okay. A lot of these might be considered classic rom-coms, but I have rewatched them recently, they're just okay. 
  • So Bad It's Good. These are the equivalent of SyFy original movies. They're so bad that they are actually entertaining. Most of them are Netflix original movies. I threw one Pauly Shore movie in there because I remembered it. 
  • Something's Missing. There's just something missing about this movie. Sometimes I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but if there was something else—whether that be slightly better acting, slightly better writing, a better twist, better chemistry, or a better resolution—this could actually fall into the "Good" tier.
  • Bad. These movies are just bad. Yes, 27 Dresses is in here. It is not a good movie. It is not a good rom-com. Your mom probably loves a lot of these movies. Your mom has bad taste.
  • God Awful. This is the movie that inspired this list. It's really bad. 
Now the rankings within each tier are soft. I didn't put too much thought into the middle of each tier, but the ones at the top I consider to be the best in their respective tier and the ones at the bottom I consider to be the worst in the tier and could probably be included in the tier below (with the exception of "Something's Missing" and "So Bad It's Good").

And yes, this is pretty much all I did for work today.
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Note: As I have finished this, I have realized I forgot Win a Date with Tad Hamilton and John Tucker Must Die. They're most likely "Bad." And is John Tucker Must Die really a rom-com?

UPDATE: I updated it, and I still don't care to add those two mentioned in the last paragraph. I also would like to say that one person was right about Failure to Launch. It's okay. Parts of it are so bad that it actually straddles the line between "Okay" and "So Bad It's Good." I didn't think that was possible.

Also, just a quick note on why 500 Days of Summer is just "Good": It should be higher, I admit. The reason it isn't is because it has become a little overrated. The number of millennial men who claim that it's their favorite movie or one of their favorites and think that gives them some sort of depth is ridiculous. Those kind of people ruin it a little for me because they're the literal worst.
1 Comment
The Real Hugh Grant
3/2/2022 06:01:51 am

Hey it’s me the real Hugh Grant, check out my new show on HBO The Undoing. I’m incredible in it. Also please send me $50

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